Nightmare

I had a very weird...well, close to bad dream, last night. In that dream I went travelling with 4 elderly, probably 2 were my parents. Didn't recognize the tourist spot, but it looks like the place in Tibet where Jacky Chan meet Aarif Rahman in Kungfu Yoga: the mountain with colorful houses lining neatly. We were about to leave the hotel when I stopped in front of the mirror to check my appearance. A type, lol.  That's the scariest part is: my hair is long and some are grey!!!!

I kept thinking about it along the way. Whyyyy??? This morning my hair was perfectly black.

I woke up late (and had no time to shock as I had to catch my bus). But, when I did my make up I was relieved to have my full short black haired in tact. hahaha. it was just a nightmare after all.

Freud believed dream is reflection of one's desire or fear. Do I fear of becoming old? Do I scare to turn grumpy and ugly? 

Took a while to chew this.

But, we'll turn old anyway (if we survive long enough). Older people around me keep using the word old to excuse for their in-capabilities. Some find it old age forbid them to work hard, or to see clear, or to walk faster. Body degradation is happening here and there. It's an absolute law.

However, I find a little group of elderly show enlightening capacity. They are the one I find reliable, soothing, and motivating. I want to be like that. I don't want to be old lady who loves to complain. I don't want to be the one who let other do the work because I can't do it.

My senior once said when you let someone do the work for you, make sure you already a pro in doing the work. It's called empowerment. Otherwise you have to pay that assistant. 

I'm scare of being old but not reliable, less smart, not even cooler, pitiful or less grateful. God, please let me be the best of me as my hair turned grey.