I left my iphone today

This morning I finally went to the mosque. After 2 years of social distancing, it feels rather safe to meet a lot of people. Eid prayer 1443 H this year is as busy as it was before the pandemic. The DKM (mosque prosperity council) has announced that the prayer activities will start at 6 a.m. Men are welcome to occupy the mosque building up to the parking lot. While the women are allocated outside the mosque. 5 minutes before 6 o'clock, I opened the door to the mosque. The streets were busy, packed with prospective worshipers for Eid prayers, who calmly headed straight for the vacant positions. There was no commotion, all activities went smoothly, even without the screams of the children.

This time, I decided to go to the mosque without bringing my cellphone. It is said that millennials have a hard time parting with their smartphones. Even our generation is labeled "the generation looking down" because they stare at the phone screen. So I brace myself, walking out bare handed. Without an iphone, I can't check the time. Without the iphone, I would miss the moments that need to be captured. Without the iPhone, I'd just be dumbfounded. But, let's just give it a try.

Takbir continues to reverberate. Since I didn't know anyone, I didn't feel the need to make small talk. Just focus on takbir. Soon, the ritual prayer began. Until it ended at 7 o'clock, I didn't remember the iPhone lying on the work desk. For once, I didn't feel the need to peek at the phone screen. It felt...weird, but peaceful.

The fact is, the iphone has become an inseparable part of my life. From the moment I wake up in the morning-whether I am reminded by an alarm or when I precede the warning sound-my hand always reach for the cellphone which is usually not far from the pillow. Lately, I always open twitter and tumblr in the morning. According to the IDC study in 2013, within the first 15 minutes of waking up, 4 out of 5 smartphone owners are checking their phones and among these people, nearly 80% reach for their phone before doing anything else. These statistics alone drive home the utility of and reliance on smartphones. 

We're so afraid to miss information, or people call it FOMO, that the first thing to do after waking up is making connection to the net. But, is it stressing?

In my case, everytime it makes me happy whenever I open my tumblr and twitter in the morning, because it filled with notes, like, or reblogs. However, there are days I don't get notes, reblogged, or liked at all. It creates a slight of disappointment, feeling that my post is not well received. omg. This is a problem. This is stressing.

This addiction to screens might get a bit severe since pandemic. Working from home "force" me to face screens. While working and watching from macbook, I glance to the ipad, and my hands keep touching the iphone. There's no limit. Other people's schedule are not like normal working schedule. They can send message at unpredictable time: after Magrib, at 23 in the evening. Somehow I feel I have to reply, because I want to be replied fast too whenever I stumble with question. But, this is not good. Why does their lack of time management disrupted mine?

I tried to make boundaries by not answering outside the working hour. I even say, "please don't contact me at night" or " can we talk about this next Monday," or "Why don't you enjoy your weekend first." But to no avail. It must be the culture, mixing personal life with professional one. Also the hustle culture by the elders that create phenomenon where people should looks busy and always busy. You better move your lazy ass, because you're a worker. 

But do you know how many people down because of this stupid culture. The rising stress is align along pandemic, because people staying home with more burden. Parents should teach their children the school closed. Wife always see the house untidy while working at home. This is a stressful, especially for people with family. I know that and I'm empatizes their hard life. But, it doesn't mean they can bother me at my free time (aka outside the work hour).  I have a life, too.  Don't you feel guilty, parents?