TURN DOWN

I've been turning down few things lately. people, job, dinner offer. I feel that if I took them, I'd be guilty to myself. I don't want to feel pathetic because I had to do things I don't want. I want to live freely, being able to choose what I want and reject things I don't like. 

I know, it's not easy. When I see Zoku Saigo Kara Nibanme no Koi, I realize that adult is troublesome creature. We need to smile even though we don't want to smile. We need to listen, even though we need silence.What a torture life. Why would adult want that? Are every adult turn into masochist in the end?

I don't want to. They might say I'm anti social, but I guess I just hate people. I don't expect you to understand. No, please, don't. You don't need to understand. You can't. I know nobody can understand other people's mind. We can only guess. All I'm asking is don't mind me. Get away. Do not take my turning down as your issue. I never include you in my calculation anyway. Please, bear in mind, that none thinks like you.