How brave does a woman should be?

This is the era where woman stand up, they say. Emancipation and freedom for girls, they scream. But, in reality of our country, emancipation is women’s way of taking advantage: getting seat on crowded train, being helped when carrying heavy load, or asking men to forgive them when they’re not good. It’s not equality. It’s feudal. As a woman, I’m ashamed to see girls who are not pushing their best potential and just let men help their way.

I know being independent woman is not easy. Most of us still believe that women must be protected. Independent woman rises faster, and—whether you like it or not—decreasing men’s confidence. Independence gives you the strength to keep moving even when you have nobody by your side. Independence makes you braver to shed away those fears.

But, how brave does a woman should be?

I don’t think I’m such a kind. I got scared every night when listening to voices in the middle of the night. You know, you got to hear various things when you’re alone. But, it’s not freaking me to the point that I can’t sleep. I just turn my iPod to cast those noises away. I’m not brave, but I know ways to avoid my fear from bugging me. 

Today is another challenge of my bravery. My senior and I have twilight dinner on a restaurant. It’s located on beach and I can see my hotel from there. The food is okay and the light is cute (but I can’t snap it well). The sun is already down when we finish the bill. We decide to walk along the beach to get to our hotel. 

It’s not a smooth white-sanded beach. There are some rocks and slippery stones on our way. As the sun gone, the path is dark. I remember the warning next to our hotel saying that there are crocodiles around the beach. It’s pretty scary. But, it’s not as scary as when we have to pass some men. I can’t see what they’re doing because lack of light. I just hope they’re not under some kind of substance. You know people under any influence of substance, including drugs and alcohol, are often derived to do crimes, such as robbery, murder, rape and many others. Remember, they can’t control themselves. They are scary. I mean, even people who’re not under any substance influence can do various deviant acts. No wonder substance related problems are listed on DSM IV-TR.

I walk faster when we come to darker path and try to make lively conversation to get rid my worry. But, you know my heart pounds really fast.

It seems like we’re walking forever when I see the light from the hotel across our accommodation. There’s stair there and a lot of people hanging around. Most of them are couples, but there is also a group of picnic people. I’m relieved.

Although my feet are sore and sands are slipping into my shoes, I’m home. I feel safe. I might never do this again, but I think I’ve proved myself that I’m no coward. Bravery is not going without mind, but it’s the ability to control what’s might hold you down.