I know, I'm awesome

"Your Outfit Is Amazing Today", my senior said that this morning. "I know," I replied.

She changes her expression in an instant and adds, "you don't usually look this good."

We laugh.

I work hard every morning to pick my outfit! 

As always, I couldn't help to comment, "Well, you're not ready to compliment me and get this blunt answer. You're expecting me to humbly said, "No, I'm not". This is why our country is left behind." Because people with knowledge can't even motivate others. FYI, she's a doctoral graduate.

People are not ready when you acknowledge your own goodness. In our Eastern Culture, admitting that you are cool means arrogant. And it's bad.

But, I know I'm awesome. If you have a problem with that, that's yours. Not mine. If you never really mean it when praising me, then don't do it. It only makes you a hypocrite. You look like a fool, then.

According to Maslow, everyone goes through the same needs hierarchy.

Those who keeps asking for money, not feeling enough with what they have, may just enter the basic needs. You know that kind of people. Those who wait for free lunch box on every meeting.

The next stair is Safety Needs. Safety and Security needs include:

Personal security

Financial security

Health and well-being

Safety net against accidents/illness and their adverse impacts

Feeling free to buy anything you want? That's cool.

Maslow makes it clear that the needs ordered in a hierarchy. It means, without fulfilling those two needs, people won't think about the next need: love and to be loved. That's why it's easy for the youngster to date because they are financially supplied. But, it's not easy for an adult to decide the marriage because there's big responsibility beneath.

The next on ladder is self-esteem needs. This is what people need after they contribute in a work. They deserve praise, love, acknowledgment. I quote from wiki:

Maslow noted two versions of esteem needs: a "lower" version and a "higher" version. The "lower" version of esteem is the need for respect from others. This may include a need for status, recognition, fame, prestige, and attention. The "higher" version manifests itself as the need for self-respect. For example, the person may have a need for strength, competence, mastery, self-confidence, independence, and freedom. This "higher" version takes precedence over the "lower" version because it relies on an inner competence established through experience. Deprivation of these needs may lead to an inferiority complex, weakness, and helplessness.

Developing self-respect is not easy, especially for those who can't decide for themselves. Also, in our culture, where community plays the important role, people tend to avoid showing off in public (except for in social media). They're afraid to be labeled arrogant. Hofstede says Indonesia is high in a collectivist culture. Thus, people tend to compliance to other's nature. It's not easy to sell your best characteristic when you're among the traditional people. You see what happen to me when I admit my appearance looks awesome above.

it's not my fault that you think I'm fabulous, kay?!

However, that's not what supposed to happen at work. I have to be respected for what I had done, otherwise, I'd be unsatisfied. And I don't like people gets credit for my work, either. I'll complain to the team leader. Still, some lame people get their ways easy. But, it's not my problem. I just want to fulfill my own value. I receive what I deserve and never ask for more they give. 

It won't be easy to reach the top of the ladder, Self Actualization. The feeling of free from any kind of pressure and do what (s)he can do best. I think people need to be super nerd to reach this level. Imagine how cool it is to not paying attention to people's gossip and just be your true self. life goal!